Hate It: We just needed to throw a little hate in there

It’s been a while since anyone (besides me) hated on anything on this blog, so in the spirit of keeping the theme alive, it’s time for me to inject a little…well, hatred into the mix.  Today’s topic?  Minivans.

My hatred for minivans started at a young age, back when my mother decided that driving us the 2 miles to school each morning was so much of a challenge that we actually needed to put together a carpool with our neighbors.  Look, don’t get me wrong.  I get that busy moms just need a break sometime.  But to sentence me to the back row of our neighbors smelly, clunky, Aerostar minivan was similar to criminal execution.  As the clock ticked closer and closer to 2:35 PM each weekday, the dread inside of me grew.  While my classmates gleefully ran out to the parking lot to find their ticket to freedom, I slowly made my way to what I thought of as the dungeon.

The first Minivan I experienced at a young age.

Today, my hatred for minivans lives on.  It seems that every slow-driving, lane-cutting, ass-dragging car on the road is a minivan (either that or a hybrid geek who is DESPERATELY trying to maximize gas efficiency..give me a break.  I love the environment as much as the next..probably more…but just freaking drive.)  Particularly in this Valley of Silicon, where familes absolutely have to be growing at 3x the national rate (made up statistic, BTW), minivans rule the road.  Does anyone here have just two kids?  Seriously, you might be rich but that isn’t supposed to directly correlate with having 15 children.

The modern MiniVan of Silicon Valley. Still Ugly.

If anyone ever sees me at a car dealership purchasing a minivan, shoot me on the spot.  Thanks.

P.S.  If I’ve offended anyone, too bad.  Get rid of your minivan and I won’t be so rude.  And step on the gas!